Faith And Trust And Pixie Dust Minus The First Two
by Chibi Zia
Summary: So it turns out Kai is a fairy. And then he and Takao have sex. Or, you know. Not.  Crack!supernatural AU set in the normal beybladeverse


There's nothing Kai loves quite like waking up in the middle of the night because of debilitating back pains. Really.

His hand curls into the futon as he turns his head slightly to look at the far-off light of Kinomiya's alarm clock. (He faintly recalls Kinomiya's dramatic battle with the plug in the dojo as he exclaimed that they were all going to wake up "SUPER EARLY for this GREAT OCCASION" and the derisive comments from the others that the only one who needed help waking up was Kinomiya himself.) The fading red numbers announce it being a little past midnight. Kai sardonically wishes himself a happy birthday as he sits up with a pained groan. He's officially fifteen going on broken backs. It's _all_ he's _ever_ wanted.

He chokes a bit on his own sarcasm as he considers his options.

The pain is mostly located in his shoulder blades, as if the bones there have decided to rebel and want out of Kai's body. Which is— well, fair enough. Kai wants to rebel and get out of his own body sometimes, too. Like _right now, _for example. It's a pain that's been recurring for the past few years (… as far as Kai can remember, at least, any time before the Kuro Suzaku incident is—well, vague at _best_) and while he usually just ignores it or sleeps it off, it doesn't seem like that's likely to happen tonight. He doesn't recall it ever being this intense. He guesses if he was anyone else, he'd be screaming in pain instead of just trying to compare it to some of his more recent beybattles to judge whether or not he should take a few pain relievers. That he's even considering answers the question for him, however, and Kai sighs as he realizes he's going to have to go to the bathroom to find said pain relievers. There's no way he's asking anyone for help. Ever. So he takes a deep breath, braces himself and gets up—

And regrets it almost immediately as it intensifies the pain and makes everything around him spin, _fuck_ if he trips over someone's sleeping body Kai is going to have to deal with all of them, ugh—but he manages to steady himself after a moment. Alright. Step one done. Now all he needs to do is walk the … whatever amount of feet between the bathroom and here is, in the dark, without waking anyone up or passing out from the pain.

Nothing sheer determination and what can only be described as masochism can't accomplish.

It takes Kai nearly five minutes to stumble into the bathroom, a walk normally done in, honestly, _seconds_, but he considers it a victory because the quiet of the dojo hasn't been broken yet and he's also managed not to trip when a particularly painful spike of pain sent him reeling for the wall. He can judge his pain tolerance later, though, and right now Kai simply heads for the medicine cabinet (or, well, what he _hopes_ is a medicine cabinet) blindly. He spends a few minutes squinting at the egregious number of toothpaste tubes and razors, pretending he's not regretting his choice of keeping the lights off in order to make sure he's not discovered. It was a pointless idea, and now he can't identify anything in this _stupid_ cabinet. Another spike of pain makes him twitch violently just as he's reaching for a bottle of what looked like pills somewhere behind some band aids, and he can only swear in aggravation (and in three different languages, thank you) when his spasm causes everything that has ever been hidden behind the Kinomiyas' bathroom mirror to commit suicide into the floor and sink. So much for subtlety.

Kai grips the sink and counts to ten so he doesn't punch something in frustration. That would be even less subtle. He picks up the bottle of pills that fell right in the center of the sink and squints at it for a few seconds to vaguely make out an "am" before he says screws it and pretends that means they're amphetamines. He pops open the cap and empties out a handful of pills that he promptly dry swallows. He also pretends overdoses are for other people, while he's at it.

Then he looks at his mess wearily before deciding to screw that, too, and head back to sleep.

Or, well, passing out in a drugged out stupor, whichever comes first.

~o~o~o~o~

Kai wakes up a few hours later (according to the position of the sun directly in his eyes as he squints against the light) to the sound of Kinomiya's alarm blaring gritty pop music and the gaping faces of three of his on-again, off-again teammates.

(The non-Russian ones.)

He feels sick and woozy, and it takes him a few seconds to remember to attribute it to what must've been approximately 6000mg of amphetamines taken all at once.

Whatever, he didn't need that liver anyway.

"What," Kai rasps out when no one deigns to say anything over time, simply continue to gawk at him like he's either a freak or the eighth wonder of the world. If they're making this big of a scene because it's his birthday and it's the "first time they can celebrate it as a team!" (sort of, only Kon, Mizuhara and Kinomiya could make it), Kai is going to deeply regret finally grumbling out the date after years of peer pressure. Well. Regret it more than he already is, at least.

"Are you punking us? Because I didn't even know you had a sense of humor, and this is kind of a _really_ far-fetched joke," Kinomiya is the first to answer. Kai stares at him blankly. What? The only thing that comes to mind for a prank is the bathroom, and somehow he doubts the mess he made is that difficult to comprehend. Kinomiya continues to look at him intensely, something he doesn't usually do outside of a beystadium. Kai feels—something he's not going to address right now, because there's a _reason_ he leaves those feelings for the dish. Still, part of him admits to being a bit flustered, but he's ultimately distracted by a soft breeze against his back. That's… highly unusual, considering he'd positioned himself to be almost against the wall—

Oh, right. Conversations.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Kai answers belatedly. The other three turn to share a baffled look.

"You… really don't know?" Mizuhara asks uncertainly. Kon is giving them both a look heavy with consideration, and Kai is feeling exceedingly uncomfortable with all of it.

By which he means kind of pissed off. He sits up with an annoyed groan.

"Either spill it or shut up," Kai manages to let out before Kinomiya starts gesturing and sputtering at him.

"I! You! That—dust—what? What is even—_that can't possibly be real someone pinch me_!"

Kai is going to get a headache if this keeps up. Mizuhara is just as wide-eyed and has started a mantra of "oh my god" while Kon … keeps on looking at him with a mix of surprise and understanding now. Kai's not okay with that.

"Kai, just do us a favor and look behind you for a second," Kon suggests after a moment of Mizuhara and Kinomiya's extended "!" moment.

Kai raises a judgmental eyebrow but turns his head around dutifully regardless. He's rewarded with the sight of a pair of huge, bright, sparkly, red wings protruding from his shoulder blades. (Also, two holes in his shirt. Great. Now he needs a new one.)

_Okay_, maybe he should've read the side-effects on that bottle a little more closely, Kai thinks hysterically before closing his eyes. This has got to be an exceedingly realistic hallucination brought on by an overdose of meds. Unfortunately, they're still there when Kai opens his eyes. Fluttering.

A small amount of sparkly red dust is gathering beneath him.

Oh, fuck.

"I didn't know it was possible for Kai to turn even paler than he already was," Mizuhara comments, and Kinomiya chokes on air.

"That means they're _real_?"

"Oh, wow," Kon breathes softly, "I didn't really think those stories were real, but it all fits—fifteenth birthday, wings…"

Would the peanut gallery please shut up, Kai is trying to have a moment where he comes to term with his sudden departure from humanity. Kai takes a deep breath, closes his eyes again and turns around back to Kon, pretending his wings aren't there.

Beating in time with his heart.

That is exceedingly annoying.

"_What_ stories?" Kai grinds out.

Kon gulps a bit and shrugs, looking as if he's grasping for words for a few seconds as he realizes Kai heard him. "Uh, well… stories about fairies."

… Oh.

_Oh_.

"I thought my grandfather was insulting me when he said that," Kai lets slip aloud.

So much for declaring his grandfather's odd comments homophobia.

~o~o~o~o~

It takes a while, but everyone finally calms down enough so that they can get everything down in order (or, in someone's specific case, leave the room altogether to be hysterical elsewhere, thanks for your help as always Kinomiya):

Kai is apparently a fairy. Or part of the fae people. Or part fae in general, _whatever_. It's not like he has childhood stories to compare this information to. Point being, this is why he has wings. He doesn't seem to share any of the other aspects of being a fairy, unfortunately, as they're all quick to establish.

For example, if Kai has magical powers, he has no clue what they are. A talent for beyblading is not actually magic, apparently. He's also not affected by iron at all, and he has no sudden urge to kidnap people. Or babies. On top of that, he is also not three inches tall, though the fae blood might explain his lack of growth spurt in the past two years. (Whatever, he's still taller than the rest of the G-Revolutions. And it's not like height determines blading talent.) He has no urge to bite, his eyes aren't green, he can still lie (these traits are getting _ridiculous_), and he doesn't care for people thanking him, but out of personal disdain for people instead of a material wish. (Seriously. Ridiculous. Moving on.)

Overall, Kai is … kind of okay with his sudden lack of humanity. Apparently Kon is part cat, too. And Kon thinks the Barthez Soldiers were part-fae, too. Plus, Kai's always kind of sucked as a fully functional human being. Now at least he has an excuse for being "socially impaired".

That last part, by the way, were not his words, and why Kinomiya was told to leave.

(Kai … hadn't actually minded the comment that much—or at all—, but that's neither here nor there.)

"Oh, here's an old one Tao-sensei used to tell me," Kon pipes up into the peaceful silence, and Kai prepares himself for another round of Stupid Fairy Stereotypes Go. "The story goes that, on the day a faerie grows their wings, they need to mate before the first stroke of midnight, otherwise they'll die. Of course, the story also says that they have an unexplainable urge to do so anyway, so—yeah. Maybe that's not such a good story after all."

Mizuhara stares at Kai quizzically, as if assessing whether or not Kai fits the bill for "horny and desperate". Kai lets the back of his head hit the wall and hopes for brain damage.

Being a fairy is _stupid_.

~o~o~o~o~

It turns out Kai can fly with his wings.

Well, sort of. Mostly he found out a few hours later that, if he's not paying attention to what he's doing, he kind of… hovers, vaguely.

It's… even that little, it's—exhilarating. He's seen the Barthez Soldiers actually fly when they're blading, and part of him wants to take out his blade and go right now. At the same time, part of him recognizes how absolutely ridiculous the notion is. The actual visual, too. The difference between him and Barthez's Soldiers so far is (besides the fact that they were actually exceedingly mediocre bladers) a wide trail of sparkly dust following him around wherever he goes. It's … horrifying.

It's also an easy way for Kinomiya to find him later that afternoon, once Kai had officially gotten tired of the ooooohs and aaaaahs of his teammates and tried to find a nice, quiet spot to nap in. Preferably a bush. It's in said bush that Kinomiya finds him in, having followed the red sparkly road.

Kai is going to have to dust after himself if he can't learn to hide his wings.

_Why_.

~o~o~o~o~

"Kai!" Kinomiya declares dramatically as he peers into the bush. Kai opens an eye and promptly closes it again.

With Kinomiya looking down on him, his face framed by the light like that, he'd almost forgotten his initial annoyance at his nap being interrupted. And he was. Annoyed. So far, this isn't exactly the birthday of his dreams. (Kai … doesn't actually have a dream birthday.) Kai ignores him in favor of pretending to nap.

"Kai! Come on, you grouch, answer me! Is it true?"

What is he talking about _now_?

"I thought the wings were a dead giveaway," Kai deadpans.

If he's honestly asking about Kai's fairy status, he's being slower on the uptake than usual. Kai thinks that's an incredibly depressing concept.

"What _no_ not that, well, okay, yeah, sort of that, I mean it has to do with the … fairy … thing…," Kinomiya drifts off and looks towards the sky. "Okay, I've gotta be honest here, that's still kind of weird and inexplicable, but sure, whatever, weirder things have happened. Like remember when Zeo was a robot?"

Kai refuses to talk about that year at all, so he ignores him.

"Or when Brooklyn made his own pocket dimension and screwed with the laws of physics so I had to fly in there while he levelled the city?"

Kai especially refuses to talk about Brooklyn.

"Or when we were touring Europe and we ran into the Dark Bladers? You know, with the vampire and the werewolf and all?"

Okay, that part was really weird.

"Or when Yuriy—"

"Kinomiya," Kai interrupts him softly, and he turns to stare at him with a wide-eyed and hopeful look. Kai has no issue crushing that look. "Get to the point."

Kinomiya pouts.

"Fine, geez," he relents, then takes a deep breath before letting out in one rushed sentence: "_S'it__trueyou'regonnadieifyoudon'thavesext'day_?"

Kai stares blankly at him.

Forever.

He didn't understand a word Kinomiya uttered just now, but that doesn't mean he's not aware it was probably incredibly stupid.

Kinomiya stares back wide-eyed and fearful for a while. "Please don't make me repeat it," he begs.

Kai has no pity for him, however, and just continues to stare evenly until he deigns explain himself.

Or, well, no, he closes his eyes again and tries to go back to sleep, because realizing you're an entirely different species than what you taught you were can be really tiring. Also overdosing on drugs makes fairies tired, maybe.

Kai should probably consider looking up actual information on fairies if he's going to be one. Only. Actual _facts_ instead of simply Kon's exceedingly bizarre and ridiculous stories.

"Okay, uhm, I overheard you guys talking—okay, fine, I was eavesdropping, shut up you guys kicked me out for no reason—and, well, is it true what Rei said? You didn't answer so…"

Kai continues to fake sleep, because he still has no idea which part Kinomiya is talking about. He didn't really answer anything they talked about when it came to fae talk. Partly because it consisted entirely of fairy tales (ha. ha. ha.) and partly because Kai was still perhaps a little bit in denial.

Okay, he's still a bit pretending it's all a dream, whatever. He'll get over it.

(Maybe not over the pixie dust, though.)

"UGH FINE _is it true_ that you have to … mate… with someone. Today. Or you die."

Kai's eyes open of their own accord at that, staring directly into Kinomiya's blushing face. He sits up, making the other boy scoot backwards rapidly as he probably expects (rightfully so) that Kai is about to punch him in the face for mentioning that.

Mostly Kai just needs to sit up to do what he wants to do right now, which is bring his scarf up over his mouth and nose to hide the very sudden urge to flush a brighter red than his wings.

What… the hell.

"What?" Kai's answer is muffled by his scarf, but he doesn't even care about how weird it probably is. He's going to pretend he's practicing one of his signature moves and no one will ever think otherwise.

Kinomiya rubs his face a bit peevishly before repeating: "Do. You. Need. To. Have. Sex. Today. Or. You. Die."

It's official. Kai has died from an overdose of painkillers, and this is his own personal—hell.

(Heaven would have less awkwardness, probably. And fairy wings. Or at least—less pixie dust.)

Kai shakes his head and prepares himself to answer a sound and firm no, making sure to enunciate it clearly while staring at Kinomiya as if he's ridiculous and dumb so the subject is dropped entirely and he can go back to napping and pretend today never happened.

What comes out instead is: "… Why?"

Entirely counter-productive, that.

"Uh, well," Kinomiya stumbles over himself, blushing suddenly. "Well! Come on, if you're dying, you need to—I mean, we should—_I am there if you need me_, is what I mean, dude. Bro. Kai."

Kinomiya is—a lot. To Kai. A lot he isn't willing to admit out loud especially. He is not, however, very good at understanding how to proposition Kai to anything, apparently. Kai lowers his scarf and stares at him, thinking precisely what he could answer to that. The obvious answer is no. No, thank you, bye. And then go right back to his nap. Learn how to control his fairy powers.

Outside of beybattles, he's not good at expressing himself. So it would really be for the best.

…

Oh, screw it.

"Kinomiya," Kai starts carefully, "Are you just offering because you think I'm dying?"

Kinomiya blinks in surprise. "Uh. Yes? No? Well. No, mostly, but I mean—we don't—it wouldn't be urgent if you're… not… dying? I'm. Going to go ahead and guess that means you're not dying so uh. Imma. Go choke on my own foot over here."

Kinomiya dances in place instead of leaving though, and finally blurts out: "I kinda… you know. When we're beybattling and… We're like. _Deeper_ than friends. We have this … connection. And I— I don't want… anything happening to you. Ever. So. I—I guess I—I kind of—"

Kai decides he'll have to settle with that gibberish mess (oh well) and stops his tirade with a gesture. "Kinomiya. … Me too."

Kinomiya—Takao—grins in relief. "Oh. Good."

Silence.

"… So, wait, are you dying, or not?"

Kai decides to shut him up with his mouth instead of his words.

~o~o~o~o~

And then they porked.

Wait, no. They didn't. They had a beybattle. Kai flew a bit. (He may or may not have flown with Takao after that.)

It was pretty much the same thing.

So I guess Kai's birthday wasn't that disappointing after all.

* * *

><p>... I was supposed to work on chapter 13 of YOPH, but instead Dazzley told me to write Kai fairy fic? I don't know? I'm sorry?<p>

/goes back to work... on yoph...

BUT HEY HERE'S KAI'S POV FOR ONCE WOO?

All my fic ends with TyKa. Always.

Hope you... enjoyed... it?

Whatever.

-Zia


End file.
